Stacey and I recently celebrated our 37th wedding anniversary. Along the way, we’ve learned a valuable truth: marriage takes work. Not in the miserable sense, but in the meaningful, daily effort it takes to build a life together. Over the years, we’ve spoken with dozens of couples about the struggles they face, and we’re more convinced than ever that strong marriages don’t just happen—they’re intentionally built. So, what does it look like to work on your marriage? Let’s break it down using the word WORK.
W – Worship
A healthy Christian marriage begins with worship—both personal and corporate. When each spouse pursues Christ individually you’re more equipped to love and serve one another. And when you worship together as part of a local church your shared faith deepens. Stacey and I find great encouragement in worshipping alongside other couples. It strengthens our walk with Jesus and with one another.
O – Overcome
Marriage faces constant opposition—from culture, from circumstances, and even from within. God designed marriage as a covenant between one man and one woman, built on a foundation of love. Unselfish, godly love empowers us to get through the hardships and difficulties that inevitably arise over the course of a lifetime. The key is learning to fight for each other instead of with each other. And yes, that takes work.
R – Respect
A healthy marriage requires mutual respect. Rather than resenting each other’s differences, we need to embrace them. God gave you complementary strengths and personalities to make your marriage more effective. Just imagine what a disaster it would be if you both had the same weaknesses! When you appreciate what each other brings to the table your marriage becomes a team effort rather than a tug-of-war.
K– Kindness
Kindness should be the default in marriage, not the exception. Too often, we reserve our kindest words and behavior for friends, and even strangers. There are little ways you can show kindness to your spouse every day. For example, do something thoughtful without being asked (and don’t mention you did it). Refrain from comments that suggest, “I told you so.” Be quick to admit when you’re wrong and to ask for forgiveness. Simple? Yes. Easy? Not always.
There’s no magic formula for a long, happy marriage, but one ingredient is essential—work. Does love play a role? Of course! But contrary to popular opinion, love isn’t all you need. I’ll even take it a step further. In order for a marriage to please God, both people must agree to follow God’s design. After all, He created marriage and knows how it works best. So yes, maintaining a healthy, godly marriage takes work. But because I love Stacey, it’s a work of love!
