“Lay aside the old self…and put on the new self” (Ephesians 4:22, 24).
We tend to focus on the “don’ts” in Scripture. The Bible, however, not only tells us what to avoid—it shows us what to pursue. Essentially: do this, not that. But it’s not a checklist; it’s a cause-and-effect. Our life’s pursuits have changed because certain attitudes and behaviors are incompatible with our new nature in Christ, which is righteous and holy. While Christ’s nature is given to us at salvation, living it out, day-by-day, is a personal choice.
Paul paints a picture of what this new life looks like. Two of his examples are clear-cut: stop stealing and start working; stop lying and start telling the truth. Yet even these aren’t simply boxes to check. Each holds a new pursuit. As a believer, you shouldn’t work just to meet your own needs but so you can be generous with others (v. 28). And when you speak truth, it should be with genuine love and concern for the listener, not used like a hammer (v. 15).
Words have power. You have to consciously choose to speak in a way that builds others up and shows grace (v. 29). Keep in mind, gracious speech is about tone as much as content. It’s not just what you say—it’s how you say it. A sharp tongue is like kindling for quarrels (Proverbs 15:1). The ability to speak with kindness and gentleness is part of your new nature, but you have to actively pursue it.
That’s why Paul moves to the heart next, telling us to put away things like bitterness, rage, animosity, resentment, slander, and spitefulness (v. 31). In their place, we’re to be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving—just as God has forgiven us (v. 32). If you’re experiencing bitterness, it’s most likely rooted in unforgiveness. Remember, no offense toward you is worse than your offense toward God. You can forgive any offense by laying aside your old nature and yielding to the Holy Spirit, who empowers your new nature.
What “old self” attitude or habit are you holding on to? Paul’s list isn’t exhaustive, but it’s enough to show that love, righteousness, and holiness should shape every part of your life. Only Jesus lived this way perfectly—and only His Spirit can enable you to live this way each day. It’s not automatic. But by grace, and through obedience, you can choose to “do this, not that.”
